Out of the starting blocks, book the ferry

Before I go any further this is absolutely nothing to do with being 40. The teeth bleaching, personal training and ridiculous thoughts about tattoos, they're ALL to do with being (almost) 40; throwing in my very good job after 18 years of corporate world, selling a dream house and leaving more friends and family behind than I can bear to think of to live in a virtually inaccessible farmhouse in the middle of France is definitely not to do with being 40.

It's actually about being tired. It's about feeling that my life is unrelenting and not actually my own. How many of the things I do on a daily basis are things I've chosen to do and done because they make me feel good? Or even things I am proud of? When did I last go on holiday and not think about work to an excessive extent or spend most of the journey to a weekend away on a conference call, sitting in the car to finish it when I got there? Don't get me wrong 18 years of corporate life has given me perspectives and skills which are massively valuable as well as networks and contacts which I treasure and will take to France. But there is indeed a but, I am a typical middle class 70's kid of typical baby boomer parents who pushed me hard to get the good grades to get to a good university to get a good job to succeed in a world they frankly had no clue about. Their ideal was based on them working in a world where there was no email, no fax, no "I sent you that message 5 mins ago and you've not given me your thoughts yet", no mobile phone, no blackberry flashing its tantalising red light in the corner. If my father drove to a meeting and was interested to know if anyone had called in, he stopped by the side of the road and put coins in a phone to speak to someone paid to take messages. If he didnt, the world didnt come to an end. That was only 1984. The world changed overnight sometime in the 90s into a monster our parents couldnt have foreseen and the goal posts changed but they and the system kept unwittingly grooming us for it...I'm stepping off the treadmill... I am so lucky that I have the enthusiastic support of DM and spending real time together will be part of the treat.

And I am still going to work, trust me I will need to BUT it will be to do things I am proud of and passionate about but actually supported by things I learned in corporate world and dare I say it have come to value. I am just shifting the context a bit...

And once you strip out all the material things that spend all of this time working hard for but dont actually enjoy, your cost base goes down significantly and

I have also become a lazy consumer. I don't need to eat overpriced asparagus out of season that's been flown around the world in plastic because I feel like blowing £5 on it... I wont need to compete in the daily fashion contest which is a "dress down culture", I wont need an expensive car to drive 35000 miles a year...

And just at the point where you think I've turned into a pious hemp knicker wearing do gooder that'll last 6months let me reassure you I am sh1tting myself that the nearest Starbucks is a 3 hour drive away and am scared that there is a Spa but it has an R on the end.....

Please visit me and bring marmalade.....